Ugh

This will most likely become a recurring title. Every time something bothers me I’ll come back to it. I should probably just put a number after it now, but I won’t. Then later when there’s Ugh 2, Ugh 3, Ugh 4, etc. it will annoy me that there isn’t an Ugh 1, just an Ugh. On the plus side I can write about it in Ugh 5.

Anywho… on to what’s making me “Ugh!”

I was trolling Pinterest (because I’m addicted. I’m not ashamed! … I might be a little ashamed. Most people that use it are also addicted though. It’s a disease.)

So anyway, I was trolling Pinterest, looking for my next fix and I see this “pin” for “How to make one oatmeal raisin cookie!” Why the fuck would you want to do that?!?! I don’t want to make a batch of the damn things to give away to someone, I don’t even make them for my hubby (who loves them… because he’s a freak. I try not to judge. I also try not to make him those nasty cookies.), I certainly wouldn’t be making just one for myself. They’re the trickster of cookies; out there pretending they’re chocolate chip cookies, but they’re not! They are the most foul and evil of all cookies (that I have tasted.)

It’s not that all oatmeal cookies are bad. They aren’t. See?

*I'm sure there are other flavors of oatmeal cookies, these are just the ones I could think of.

*I’m sure there are other flavors of oatmeal cookies, these are just the ones I could think of.

And it’s not just me that hates them. Tons of people do. If they didn’t, people wouldn’t be able to sell things like this! Why are you making a mediocre (sorry oatmeal) cookie worse by adding fruit that’s gone bad? It was a terrible idea, and whoever thought of it should be ashamed.

You know what, whoever thought we should eat raisins (period!) should be ashamed. Shame on you, ancient consumer of dried fruit! Ugh. Just the thought of tasting a raisin has my gag reflex going.

I have to change the subject. So, while I’m complaining, why isn’t “every time” one word? It’s like the “no one/nobody” conundrum that I just made up. I understand if you smashed  “no one” together it would be “noone,” and it would be confusing, but it’s not fair for “nobody” to get to be one word if “no one” can’t be one word. I think they should be separated. “Every time” get’s me going. “Everything” is one word, and “sometime” is one word, but not “everytime.” If you smash “every” and “time” together you’re getting the red squiggly line of doom/misspelling as you type!

More pressing than any of those word issues is the fact that “peanut butter” isn’t one word. It should be. I have friends that agree with me on this. I should start a Kickstarter campaign for change. If a guy can raise a crap ton of money for potato salad, then I think I can raise enough to pay off Webster to make it “peanutbutter.” (And if I have extra funds at the end I’ll figure out how to ban raisins…)

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